Doubt is a fungus

I have been running a lot more than has been my usual habit lately. Sometimes six runs a week where I used to do max four.

This added mileage and time on the road has meant new and more lofty goals and expectations.

I finished what I thought was a super quick 9.5k run this morning, a run that felt like it was three years in the past when I was running 4:30 kilometres at ease. But, I wasn’t that speedy. I felt fast, but the numbers said otherwise. My pace was smack dab on my norm (4:43) and I began to doubt whether I’d ever get back to my 32 year old pace and shed this 35 year old hurting, aching, and stuck in a progression-less routine.

The self doubt creeps in like the spreading spores of a nasty gripping fungus. Self doubt can break you down, decompose progress, and cloud vision.

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So, I began scrolling through my run history stats, records, and entries. I am running way more than I did three years ago. I am running much farther per run than I did in the past. My long runs are longer in both time and distance and my short runs are too. And my running is more rewarding in that I really cherish the time alone and the fact that it is keeping my mind and my heart young. And when I run with my son roughly twice a week, well, what on earth could be better?

So here’s to plucking the self doubt mushroomy fungus from the floor of the run forest and tossing it aside. Here’s to seeing the pluses, the growth, the positivity in the journey.

Here’s to #runhappiness.

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